Monday, April 2, 2012

A Journey into Darkness: 8: Why Am I Doing This Again?

Alright, so, this game is starting to actually wear on my nerves at this point. But I made this commitment (to absolutely no one but myself) and therefore I must finish what I started even though there are zero consequences to me just moving the hell on. Yep, you guessed it (or read it on my last post) I got caught up in another cave!

I'm gonna be... (gasp) the very best... (cough)

After being told that I need to retrieve the light stone I headed to the Relic Castle which I was kind of excited about. However the folks over at Game Freak apparently have never seen a castle because this was just another damn cave. In this “castle” there are these Sarlacc-less sand traps that drop you to next floor down. However, said anuses  sure do know how to find a new definition of pain and suffering, as you are slowly digested over a thousand years.

What drove me the most insane is that the castle is a maze and the random encounters happen CONSTANTLY. Now, I want you to imagine trying to do a Sudoku and every 5 seconds someone snatches it away from you and forces you to do a Scramble or a Word Search or a goddamn Kakuro, but the only one you NEED to finish is the damn Sudoku!

It’s infuriating.

Oh, yeah and lets talk about counter-intuitive approaches. Take a look at the image above. Do you think you could walk between that pit and the wall? No you wouldn’t because it looks like the pit goes to the edge of the wall. But guess what? YOU CAN!!! It took me way more time that I’d like to admit to figure that out. And when I found out I may or may not have angrily crossed out the eyes on images of all Game Freak employees.

"Now Mr. Masuda you see everything, EVERYTHING! HAHAHHAHAHA!!!"

Anyway, I get to the bottom of the castle/cave/oh, go jump off a cliff and I found the guy who had set up the Team Plasma HQ in Castelia City to look like a Pokémon Gym. And there was this other guy there who was a Gym Leader who had an old beef with the guy and blah, blah, cut to the end.

The Light Stone wasn't down there. But you know who did have the stone? The people who sent me in the first place. Hey, guys I have a transceiver, you could have rung me up and said something. I see how this game appeals to kids - I can't help but feel like I'm being perpetually lied to by every adult in this game.

...and then I told that little dumb ass to go look for it in the cave!

Next up: Something to do with surfing... I dunno I got nothing.