A Journey into Darkness: 6: Naming Conventions

Throughout Pokémon Black, a theme of “live and let live” is constantly being hinted at. Everything from people want to be the most powerful trainers, others want to simply have fun with their Poké-friends and then there are some who want to disguise their Gym as a honeycomb and hire mimes to attack you with once-feral animals. 

I choose you, Distemper Ocelot!

The central theme was highlighted by the last conversation with N where he explained: 

"Many different values mix together, and the world becomes gray... That is unforgivable! I will separate Pokémon and people, and black and white will be clearly distinct! Only then will Pokémon become perfect beings!”

It’s no secret why Pokémon Black/White were given that specific name. The title implies the inherent conflict of the main antagonist. And if you want to get down to brass tacks the game isn’t really about the underaged mute you control – the game is about N.

So, why in the hell would you call the sequel to this game Pokémon Grey?

Nintendo has recently announced the release of Pokémon Black/White 2 but in the time before that every nerd game site in the world was talking about what “Pokémon Grey” would be like. I know that this may seem like a moot point but Jesus-pizzas how dumb do you have to be to have not picked up on how asinine that is.

It would be like claiming that "The Dark Knight Begins" or "A New Striking Back of Hope" or "The Girl with the Dragon Ta-2" or "2 Fast 2 Furious" are really great names for sequels. What it does is reaffirm that everything I assume about how dumb people are, I should stop assuming. Wait, what?! That last one actually happened?

…

ANYWAYS, as I continue on my path to be the best Michael Vick impersonator I am once again approached by N. He decides to give me a break from all the having-to-point-at-the-dolly-were-he-touched-me business and decided to mind meld with my Pokémon and grill him on my parenting abilities, which seemed a little unfair.

...and sometimes he converts me into energy
and puts me into a physics-defying "poke ball".

Next stop: the harrowing beauty of The Celestial Tower: the Pokémon cemetery.  

A Journey into Darkness: 1: Snivy, I choose YOU!

Let's be Realistic here; Game Freak has released the same Pokémon Game for years now. I'm pretty damn familiar with it all but perhaps you are not. So, let me recap. You begin as a young Pokémon trainer. Eyes on the prize, you pick one of 3 Pokémon types (fire, water or grass) and set out to become the greatest Pokémon trainer of all time! It's like dog fighting if Caesar Milan redesigned it in a slightly less horrifying way.

Pokémon Black assumes you are pretty familiar with the universe they've spent a decade creating. Gender assignment and selection of a starter Pokémon is knocked out of the way pretty quickly. Pokémon Black also assumes you've seen the beginning of Apocalypse Now and understand that fire type Pokémon beats grass type Pokémon and slightly less intuitively grass is strong against water. I chose Snivy (a grass type Pokémon) because he looked kind of like my dog.

I commenced a Pokémon battle immediately with one of my so-called "childhood friends" (I didn't know these guys). After getting over the initial shock of sending out an animal that I've know for about 2 seconds to go kick another animal's ass, I remember that Pokémon is a standard turn-based RPG.

I end the bout victorious but am slapped in the face with the reality that this is a kids game with the intent to teach lessons. The Pokémon tussle had taken place indoors thusly trashing my room. Strangely, my "mom" suggested that I take my new Pokémon and go on an "adventure". Maybe not the best parenting advice but the world of Pokémon concentrates on kinesthetic learning.

Today's lesson: Do that shit outside!