A Journey into Darkness: 2: Of Electric Mice and Men

In ethics there are two major schools of thought: the Consequentialists and the Deontologists. To the horror of every philosopher I went to school with, not only would I consider myself a Deontologist but I also like Kant. His works may have read like the Handbook for the Recently Deceased however the whole "never treat someone as a means to an end" thing just resonated with me.

Enter Team Plasma.

In previous games budding Pokemon trainers would find themselves pitted against the organized Pokemon crime ring, Team Rocket. If Team Rocket was Ziggy Stardust then Team Plasma would be Aladdin Sane. Technically the same people but with very different approaches.

I first encountered Team Plasma as they gathered in a town square (all Occupy Wall Street style) denouncing the use of Pokemon citing that trainers were suppressing the free-will of Pokemon. Half expecting quotes from Critique of Pure Reason, I found myself sympathizing with Team Plasma. Especially when the counterargument was that Pokemon love being trained! Who wouldn't want to be the best?

This logic lies somewhere between the justification for Gladiatorial competition and something Hitler would have said. However, I later come across a couple of members of Team Plasma and they attack me with Pokemon which made me wonder if anyone over at Game Freak had really thought this through. It's a shame really. I think if they had attacked me with robots or magic or hell just their fists I'd be okay with it. But alas Team Rocket is a flawed institution and I must align myself with the Pokemon supremacists.

Today's lesson: Game Freak probably didn't pass Contemporary Moral Issues...

A Journey into Darkness: 1: Snivy, I choose YOU!

Let's be Realistic here; Game Freak has released the same Pokémon Game for years now. I'm pretty damn familiar with it all but perhaps you are not. So, let me recap. You begin as a young Pokémon trainer. Eyes on the prize, you pick one of 3 Pokémon types (fire, water or grass) and set out to become the greatest Pokémon trainer of all time! It's like dog fighting if Caesar Milan redesigned it in a slightly less horrifying way.

Pokémon Black assumes you are pretty familiar with the universe they've spent a decade creating. Gender assignment and selection of a starter Pokémon is knocked out of the way pretty quickly. Pokémon Black also assumes you've seen the beginning of Apocalypse Now and understand that fire type Pokémon beats grass type Pokémon and slightly less intuitively grass is strong against water. I chose Snivy (a grass type Pokémon) because he looked kind of like my dog.

I commenced a Pokémon battle immediately with one of my so-called "childhood friends" (I didn't know these guys). After getting over the initial shock of sending out an animal that I've know for about 2 seconds to go kick another animal's ass, I remember that Pokémon is a standard turn-based RPG.

I end the bout victorious but am slapped in the face with the reality that this is a kids game with the intent to teach lessons. The Pokémon tussle had taken place indoors thusly trashing my room. Strangely, my "mom" suggested that I take my new Pokémon and go on an "adventure". Maybe not the best parenting advice but the world of Pokémon concentrates on kinesthetic learning.

Today's lesson: Do that shit outside!

A Journey into Darkness: Introduction

If you know me you may know that I kind of like Pokémon.

I'm pretty familiar with most things Pokemon from the first generation games which include (but are not limited to) Pokémon Red/Blue (and to a lesser extent Yellow), Pokémon Pinball and the Pokémon Trading Card Game. But now that I'm much older and wiser (and actually have friends) I've learned to extol loneliness in more age-appropriate ways.

However, I've moved to San Antonio recently and quite frankly I've been bored. I wanted something to keep my brain occupied while I wait for something new and interesting to happen. I can't tell you what exactly made me want to play Pokémon Black/White but one day I left work, went to the mall downtown and purchased Pokémon Black.

I assumed Black would make me seem slightly tougher...

I started playing and I came to a realization that (like my original fascination) Pokémon is actually pretty interesting. Well, at least as interesting as a game for children could be. So, I've decided to log my journey through Pokémon Black in an attempt to basically keep myself from going completely insane.

Even though the fact that I'm even considering doing this may be proof of said insanity...

Ryan, play Infinity Blade... seriously!

One of my best friends and I bonded over a rare book. Ryan (see figure 1) came over to my ferret-scented, wood panel, shoebox of an apartment and browsed my books. In a cautiously sarcastic tone he said, “Ha, you ever read this?” I turned around to see him pointing at Myst: The Book of Atrus.

“Are you kidding me? I fucking love those books!”

Not the response he expected. From then a nerd pact like no other was solidified. I have yet to this day to meet anyone else that shared my love of the Myst series, which I find a little strange. The games are the high point in point and click adventure games and the books are surprisingly well written.

I never played any games beyond Riven (the second game in the series) because the project was handed off to another team of developers and the original creators, Rand and Robyn Miller didn’t have much of hand in the following games. The original two games and the Myst trilogy of books is to this day one of my favorite multimedia stories ever told, falling into a shortlist of series including: Discworld, Halo, and to a lesser extent: any Tom Clancy game/book.

But I write this as an appeal to that same friend to buckle down, buy and iPad and play Infinity Blade.


I recently was given an iPad and I was on a search to find the best iOS games that I hadn’t already played on the iPod Touch. Many sites had stated that Infinity Blade and its sequel were among the pantheon of greatness on the iTunes Store. However, I was skeptical. The screenshots were so very unassuming. Yeah, it was created on the Unreal engine and looked amazing for an iOS game but that hardly seemed like a strong argument for why the game was great (for references see all Final Fantasy games after 10…(actually, include 10).

Now, I’m on the other side of the two games and the novella Infinity Blade: Awakening written by Mistborn author, Brandon Sanderson and all I can say is CONSUME! The game is exceedingly creative in its simplicity. Every game mechanic has a purpose and fits into the paradigm of the game (well, except for the item shop but I guess we can’t have it all (for references see Metal Gear Solid 4’s item shop).


You begin the game as a nameless fighter out to avenge his father. However, as you start these journeys over and over again in attempts to fell the God King a feeling of something larger starts to reveal itself, like a beautiful videogame version of the pool hallucination scene from National Lampoon Christmas Vacation. Finally when you are strong enough to defeat the God King there is a simple but dramatic twist. But, like Lost, it only will tell you what you need to know to make the most basic inference.


I do recommend reading the book, which takes place between the two games before playing the Infinity Blade 2. The second game is more story driven that the first and is good in its own right. However, like most sequels, it goes for the WOW factor and starts to stray a little from what made the first game so good. You know, because higher fidelity equates to more douchebags playing.

Ryan, play this game. Find someone with an iPhone. I’ll mail you my iPod touch that doesn’t work properly (stupid sleep button). If you loved the way the story of Dn’i was told through the Myst games and books, you’ll really enjoy this. I loved it and I hope they make more.

Death of a Swordsman

Demon's Souls (DS) was one of those games that, if you believe that games are art, then you should play. Since I fall into that category of people, I decided to buy it with my new PS3 system. It was a greatest hits version so it was only $20 and considering the price of that little black box of processing it was all I could really afford. I got home installed it, created a dead faced old man avatar, and started my journey through a castle (I looked like Danny Trejo after a cheap facelift ).



Then I died.

And I died…

And I died.

If you don’t know, DS is a game that is purposefully difficult. Playing it reminded me a lot of trying to get through that one hall in the first Castlevania (Ryan, Krystn you know what I’m talking about (da da doo, da da doo, da daa)). But I beat Castlevania, I can beat Megaman without continuing, I should be able to handle this.

Apparently, I can’t.

DS refused to offer any sort of help to get through the game. Hell, it took me several hours to figure out that I could run. Also, when you die you get resurrected but with only a portion of your health bar. Most enemies will either hack off most or your life in one hit or they’ll call all their friends for a good ole rat king hello.

At first I guess I was enjoying it. However, I got this nagging feeling that I was giving the game way too much of a benefit of the doubt; that maybe this game is only good because I’m choosing for it to be good. So, I stepped back and reevaluated, realizing that I wasn’t actually having any fun.

To put this into presepctive, I'll quit a game in Modern Warfare because my team is getting pummeled. This isn't because I can't deal with losing but more so that I'm simply not having fun. I've learned that I can pop the battery out of the back of a 360 controller by twisting it enough. Being pissed off isn't fun for me.

Sorry.

I like a challenge but this game isn’t challenging, it’s obnoxious. You remember in Final Fantasy 7 having to fight the Emerald and Ruby Weapons and you had to build up all your characters to level 99, get their best weapons and hope that you got a little lucky when you went into battle? Yeah, I don’t either because I’m not a loser.

I don’t like grinding for hours just to get one stat to go up by one point and quite frankly neither should you.

DS has an illusion of epicness but at the end of the day the game seems grandiose because you have to spend a lot of time doing to same thing in the same place. This processes gets reset every time you have a pack of cyborg skeletons using your torso for a sharpening stone (trust me, it’s nowhere as cool as it sounds). Yeah, you start noticing subtleties in the brick laying of a prison but, at the end of the day, all I’ve really done is dodge a Chutulu-faced wizard a hundred, million, trillion times. I guess if that’s your thing then more power to you.

Maybe it’s a WOW thing.

I have yet to finish DS because when I started playing all of the worlds were white and I was still having trouble (there’s a mechanic that online players control the difficulty of the game, white: easy, black: hard).


I played for a couple of weeks then the worlds all turned pure black to celebrate Halloween or their 3rd year anniversary or whatever (yeah, I know keeping this thing current). I just didn’t have the time or effort. DS is a game for people who like Steven King or Robert Jordan novels e.g. high volume, low content.

Maybe one day I’ll finish it…

but it’s not likely.

I also want to apologize for the gross overuse of parenthesis in this post.

The Last Guardian: Why I worry so...

Team ICO, Oh Team ICO.

Why hasn’t this game been released yet? No, seriously. Why?

Do you hate us? Have we not used Shadow of the Colossus and Ico as glowing examples in the “videogames are art” argument? I will literally buy a PS3 to play this game – well, that and Final Fantasy versus 13 – because your pedigree means so much to me. I would buy this game before I would buy food.

So, WHY WONT YOU RELEASE THIS THING!!!

Alright, how about a little back story. The Last Guardian is a game about a boy and his giant griffin released by the earthy manifestation of god Team ICO. Preceded by ICO and Shadow of the Colossus (the Nick Drake and Big Star of video gaming) Last Guardian has quite the reputation to live up to.

The Last Guardian was also announced in 2009 meaning that it’s been in the works since at least 2007. Well, after trailer after trailer and updated screenshot after updated screenshot, it’s finally going to be released in early 2012. Quite frankly, that’s ridiculous.

The ICO mythos has never been accused of being a story that’s over told. You could sum up the plot of both Ico and Shadow of the Colossus in a couple of paragraphs and I would be surprised of The Last Guardian is going to be any different. In fact, I’ll predict the entire story right now.

Boy is in trouble, probably because someone is trying to sacrifice him to something. Boy stumbles across giant bird thing and after some light tension they become friends. Bird thing saves boy from baddies. Bird thing dies.

What? They killed Argo. This doesn’t take rocket science to figure out.



What I think is happening is that The Last Guardian is being “Portal 2”ed. Portal 2 was an infinitely easier game than the first Portal. This is because they play tested the game WAY too much and it was made easier as too make sure no one’s brain hemorrhaged when challenged with a mildly difficult puzzle. This lead to a lot of really easy puzzles and a game that felt really padded out all for the sake of accessibility. On one hand this is okay – I want more people to play video games – but at the same time I feel like it took away from what, made Portal so great.



Here is a quote from Fumito Ueda, “I also want people who are not serious game players to try out this game. So I want the controls to be simpler than before.” This attitude usually leads to games being insultingly easy. In Portal 2 it was really hard to get immersed in the game world because you were being shuffled from one scene to another never really getting much of a chance to take it all in.

In Shadow of the Colossus there is a battle where you have to get a flying dragon Colossus out of the sky. As the player, you spend a lot of time staring at the sky trying to figure out how to get the big guy to come down. This is a carefully planned gameplay decision which is meant to give scale to what you are about to undertake. The Colossus seems so small in the sky and when it finally swoops down to attack you it feels much bigger than it actually is.

It feels like a Colossus.

I worry that they are in the process of trading accessibility for immersion and if that is the case then that makes me kind of apprehensive. Without immersion Shadow of the Colossus wouldn’t have been the game that it was. The same goes for Portal.

Sometimes you really need to just stare at a wall while figuring out a puzzle.

Sometimes it’s important to feel confused and lost.

My prediction is that The Last Guardian is going to good but not a successor to the games that came before. It happened to Return of the Jedi, it happened to Return of the King and it happened in other things that don’t have “return” in the title.

Um…

…

Silent Hill 3!

Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars

Alrighty, you’ve had enough with the philosophical waxing. Lets do a game review.

I have a special place in my heart for Turn Based Strategy (TBS) games. All the way back from Tactics Ogre to Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift (essentially the same game). This probably had to do with my obsession with forcing others to blindly follow my orders. I usually pretend to be the benevolent dictator that I wish would come and fix this country. Leading us to a brighter tomorrow where all decisions are made for the collective cause of the common identity. RISE my minions and I will lead you all to Eudaimonia: the sovereign collective fatherland!

Ahem…

The tedium of playing stupid Ocarina of Time for the 30-bazillionth time was really starting to get my goad. I went to check the reviews for 3DS games and the superfluously named Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars: The Final Tussle: Clancy Edition 3D: Chapter One: Episode 3: These Wretched Days: and A Bag of Chips by Tom Clancy caught my attention. I was interested because to my surprise the game had gotten good reviews but also wary because of the phrase “good for a 3DS game” came up a lot.

This worried me but I gave it a whirl anyway. Well, it’s 2 weeks later and according to my activity log I’ve been playing Shadow Wars for 18 hours 45 minutes and average a 1 hour session when playing. Needless to say Shadow Wars is not only good for a 3DS game but it is good, period.

First there is the story.

I’ve never read a Tom Clancy book or even played any games that he’s had a hand in creating. However, Shadow Wars almost makes me want to change that fact (I said “ALMOST”!). One thing that I noticed about Clancy or at least this game is that it is essentially a Westernized Ghost in the Shell/Appleseed story. In fact, I would say that this plot could have been written by Masamune Shirow if he one day decided that he was terrified of Russians and their pesky ideals. The anti-Communist sentiments are a little heavy handed but you can always pretend the Russians are the Others and you’re a mercenary hired by Charles Whitmore and BOOM season 4 of Lost.

TBSs are kind of like chess. Certain fighters have specific way that they can attack and you build strategies based around what you’re given. Shadow Wars can boast one of the most well-balanced and thought out approaches to TBSs that I’ve seen. Generally when playing a TBS it starts off simple enough but by the 10^th mission your options get so out of hand you feel like you’re trying to order off the Cheesecake Factory menu.

In R-Type Command you start off with a easily understood fleet of a few ships. By the time your fighting the Bydos in a black hole you are inundated with so many options of fighting tactics that it’s nearly impossible to choose between the long range fighter that can cloak itself within 3 moves and not use it’s secondary weapon or the long range fighter that can cloak itself within 2 moves but you can use the plasma cannon. Does it really make that much of a difference?!?!

What I like about Shadow Wars is that you are given a core group of 6 soldiers who have specific jobs. They can be tweaked a little but not enough to feel overwhelmed with the “spice of life”. What happens a lot in TBSs is that you pick a team based on some light intel. Whether or not that team bodes well depends on your ability to pick a team that will strategically give you the upper hand with info like: “there will be a battle, it happens in space”.

I hate this approach.

What this boils down to is that there is no strategy involved. You play a battle, figure out what you’re fighting, typically lose and restart the battle with a reformed party that is based around the weaknesses of the baddies you just fought. You basically use your first battle as a cheat sheet for the second go around. Shadow Wars builds maps based around the party that it already knows you are working with. This translates to maps are created with an answer built into them. Essentially, the problem has a solution.

This is what makes for a great TBS game. If you like Final Fantasy Tactics or Advanced Wars but hated playing the same level 50 times because you didn’t have the clairvoyance to know exactly what you where up against. Well, my friends, Shadow Wars will quell that nagging irritation and also hold you over till Nintendo starts throwing free games at you.