Monday, February 13, 2012

A Journey into Darkness: 1: Snivy, I choose YOU!

Let's be Realistic here; Game Freak has released the same Pokémon Game for years now. I'm pretty damn familiar with it all but perhaps you are not. So, let me recap. You begin as a young Pokémon trainer. Eyes on the prize, you pick one of 3 Pokémon types (fire, water or grass) and set out to become the greatest Pokémon trainer of all time! It's like dog fighting if Caesar Milan redesigned it in a slightly less horrifying way.

Pokémon Black assumes you are pretty familiar with the universe they've spent a decade creating. Gender assignment and selection of a starter Pokémon is knocked out of the way pretty quickly. Pokémon Black also assumes you've seen the beginning of Apocalypse Now and understand that fire type Pokémon beats grass type Pokémon and slightly less intuitively grass is strong against water. I chose Snivy (a grass type Pokémon) because he looked kind of like my dog.

I commenced a Pokémon battle immediately with one of my so-called "childhood friends" (I didn't know these guys). After getting over the initial shock of sending out an animal that I've know for about 2 seconds to go kick another animal's ass, I remember that Pokémon is a standard turn-based RPG.

I end the bout victorious but am slapped in the face with the reality that this is a kids game with the intent to teach lessons. The Pokémon tussle had taken place indoors thusly trashing my room. Strangely, my "mom" suggested that I take my new Pokémon and go on an "adventure". Maybe not the best parenting advice but the world of Pokémon concentrates on kinesthetic learning.

Today's lesson: Do that shit outside!

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